Stan's Tuesday Walks

A Weekly Feature
by Stan Evans,
President, Santa Fe Always Online

February 6 , 2002

This morning I got up at minutes after five and, knowing it was quite cold outside, I didn't bother to call and check the temperature for fear that I would back out of making my Tuesday walk.

After finishing some of the necessities of the morning, I did some stretching while I psyched myself up for my walk.

At about six this morning, I headed out the door toward the plaza. As I walked along, I though about how last Saturday and Sunday I had been walking Las Vegas Boulevard (The Strip) in Las Vegas, Nevada about the same time of the morning in cool weather, but not cold.

My daughter has recently moved to Las Vegas, Nevada, which will now give me an excuse to head to the "City of Lights," more often. When I told a friend of mine that I now had an excuse to give my wife when I want to go to Las Vegas, he said he could see me now being asked by my wife, upon my return, how our daughter was doing and me telling my wife that I knew there was something I had forgotten to do, so I better head back to see how she was doing.

Walking "The Strip" in the early morning is quite interesting. All the people I saw were those that are on opposite ends of the pole and no inbetweeners (my own word). At one extreme were the people who had forgotten to go to bed the night before. Their eyeballs, in a blaze of red, hanging down to their cheeks. Some with a cigarette in one hand, a stale beer in the other, doing the Las Vegas shuffle. At the other end of pole were the early morning runners.

Saturday morning, when I got up in Las Vegas, I looked out the window of the hotel where I was staying and I noticed that a group, in a truck, were setting up orange traffic cones on the street below. The cones were being used to separate one of the lanes of the street.

When I got down stairs to the street to do my walk, I saw a few runners in the lane, so I figured some kind of race would ensue. The runners that I saw were not wearing numbers and, since it was so early, I figured they were either practicing or they were runners who were not in the race, but were taking advantage of the segregated lane. I decided to do the same. I thought to myself, maybe I could run a little, well not run, maybe kind of jog and then walk a little and so on.

Before I stepped on to the lane, I looked back to make sure I wasn't getting in someone's way. The closest runners were a couple of women that were a good 200 yards back. I started out with what I call jogging and then, not too long after, I walked and as I started to jog again, I could hear the two women behind me, talking. I looked back and saw that they were now about thirty yards behind me. With that in mind, I decide I better take it up a notch. Well that made me have to go back to walking sooner. In no time, the two ladies passed me and as I looked back I could see some more women approaching. I decided that the embarrassment of continually being passed wasn't worth the opportunity to jog and walk on the specially restricted lane, so I got on the sidewalk and headed in a different direction.

As I walked along, a thought came to mind that made me laugh and I hesitate to talk about it, but it was funny enough to take the chance and I hope that the readers of this article take it in the spirit that was intended and that is: no sexism intended. I guess the fact that these beautiful, delicate ladies passed me with ease is what prompted the thought.

A number of years ago, a dear friend of mine was running for a political office. During a fund raising party, a group of his supporters roasted the candidate. His wife was the last one to roast him and, after this group finished, my friend, the candidate, approached the rostrum and proceeded to rebut each individual that roasted him and of course his wife. How he tied the following story together with his wife's roasting, I have long forgotten, but it's irrelevant.

The story, as best I can remember, is as follows:

Adam was questioning God about Eve and God was getting tired of Adam's questions.

And Adam said, "But God, why did you make her so soft?" and God replied, "Adam, so you would like her." And Adam said, "But God, why did you make her so smooth?" and God replied, "ADAM, so you would like her." By this time, Adam noticed that God was getting a little upset at him and so Adam said, "God, one last question, why did you make her so DUMB!!!??? God turned to Adam with great disgust and said to him, "Adam, so she would like you!!!"

I really don't know why this story came to mind. Perhaps we fellows sometimes underrate you ladies and, for those of us that do, I apologize.

Have a great day.


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